Well, I don't really know what to say. For those people who made anonymous comments (BTW...I really think anonymity is awesome), let me clear a few things up...
As for the incident last Friday at the pharmacy. I don't think I said it was at the pharmacy, but it was. I don't know if the lady was a Christian or not, but I was just using that example to pose a question I started wrestling with LAST SUMMER. I realize that Christians are not perfect. I never said they were. I am a Christian and I am a far cry from being perfect, but the One I am following IS perfect. I was just really upset about what had happened that day simply because any human being, regardless of their belief system or the lack thereof, has no right to be a jerk, especially to a customer! So sue me. That is my opinion, and much like many others' opinions, sometimes they stink. Also, within the last two weeks, I have dealt with human resources type people and service people who have just been plain rotten to be around. They were negative, sassy, and very short (and I don't mean height). I was simply frustrated and like I said before, confused.
That being said, let me clear up a few things about this little paper that I wrote this week. I included a letter to my professor about my struggles with said paper. This week I have felt like one of those dogs who runs around in circles chasing its tail all day long. There was never any resolution for my paper. I completely see both sides of the coin and I never intended for people to think I was being judgmental. I really feel like our society is at a really low point right now. You know, where do you draw the line? Come on, it is sad, and I know I am not the only person who believes that to be true. As for my paper, my thesis ended up being something like..."While it is necessary for children's literature to reflect society, there is a blurred line between reflecting and determining." Basically, I needed to write a critical paper for my class, I chose the topic of families, and this is where I ended. I am not saying I know the answers to the questions I posed in my paper, but that I too am CHEWING ON THEM. I am not trying to be "holier than thou" but it was something to look into. I waffled through my paper, never really landing on either side. I mentioned how books about divorce can be truly healing for children who have found themselves in the midst of that situation, and that books about same-sex parents can be the same. However, by continually publishing literature on these topics, I feel like we are at a greater potential to become numb to the whole thing. My paper was fairly decent, but nothing to call home about. I tried my best, and you know what, it is finished and that is all that I care about at this point. I will get back to you in a few weeks when I find out how I did on it.
Now, for more exciting things:
-All of my furniture has been relocated to a cute little 5x10 storage unit. Special thanks go out to my friend Josh who came up and helped us carry everything down the stairs, out to a truck, back out of the truck, and into the unit.
-After tomorrow, we will have NO furniture for the rest of the week. Kind of exciting, but weird at the same time.
-Next week, even though it will be sprinkled with two precious finals, is going to be a lot of fun. I have something special planned for every day.
-I will be home very, very soon. I am leaving in 17 days to experience what may become the best summer of my life. I just found out that I will be helping at a VBS in Nairobi. How fun is that?
-I have found more U2 songs to listen to. Actually, I just started venturing away from the four I always cling to. I can't remember the names right now, but nonetheless, they are fun.
-To my friends who know how to deal with confrontation, please offer me some advice. I cannot continue to bottle things up inside and then explode with tears. Not cool, not cool at all.
-To those of you who have seasonal allergies, how are you managing right now? Is it just me, or does everything outside and inside make you miserable right now?
-My parents are good people. They came up last night and helped me move everything today. My dad took care of the loading/unloading stuff, and my mom helped me clean our apartment, namely the kitchen and my bathroom. They also provided me with some quarters for my rip-off laundry room. Rock on.
-I am reading Blue Like Jazz right now. I started reading it last summer but put it down for various reasons. I have tried again though, and I LOVE IT! I can't wait to just sit back on my bare floor and read it until it is finished.
-I am searching right now for a summer book list. I would like to take ten books with me this summer...five for me to take in May and five for my parents to bring over in June. Seeing as I am in the middle of Blue Like Jazz, I would like to definitely continue reading more from Donald Miller. However, I need some suggestions. Any takers?
I apologize for another random post. Just felt like I needed to make a few adjustments, or for a more creative word, addendums.
That's a wrap.
P.S. Kim, I would love it if you could possibly make me a Bulgarian Adventure CD or perhaps an Egyptian Adventure CD. Your comment made me laugh out loud...again, so sorry about that silly little mix-up :)
7 comments:
Good post Erin. You'd be in good company if you picked up "Searching for God Knows What"...also Donald Miller. I read it first before "Blue" but I loved them both. You should check out Gil's 2004 list...might be some good ones on there.
As for the doormat thing...I was at St. Peter's a couple months ago to provide music for a funeral mass. It had been a long time since I had played for one so I was a bit uneasy, but it was for the family of someone who used to work for JK so I said yes.
I got there early and asked the officiating priest if he was indeed the officiating priest for the service. He had his back to me, stopped and said nothing. He slowly turned and curtly responded that he was not doing the service. He then proceeded to tell me he was in fact doing the "mass". [My mistake] You know me, I'm not usually at a loss for something to say, but he silenced me. I forged ahead and asked how he would be starting the "mass" and if there were any specific things I should be aware of. He continued to be, pardon me Erin, an ass. If priests can be one, he was. It's no secret I've been a bit more emotionally fragile recently and he was terribly close to having me burst into tears. Instead, I paused, looked at him and quietly asked, "Have I done something to irritate you? I'm only here as a favor to the family, who asked me to come and sing for them during this painful time. I just wanted to be sure I knew what you were planning to make this a meaningful experience for them."
Instead of assuming the doormat position, I felt empowered by the boundaries I was setting: that I noticed how I was being treated, and that, though gently and with respect, I was calling him into some accountability.
He immediately became apologetic, saying it had been a long weekend and he was tired. [I let him go with that, though I believe it had more to do with asserting his office over my "obviously doesn't have her catechism down to an art" lay position.] The mass went very well and he ended up telling me afterwards that it was obvious I knew what I was doing and he was sorry.
I guess, in those moments, it is possible they’re having a horrific time of things. That, like I do more often than not, they might be lashing out at someone when there’s really something else eating Gilbert Grape. And if not, I don’t think setting healthy boundaries about how you’ll allow someone to treat you is being unlike Christ. He has not given us a spirit of timidity but of boldness and tempered with His gentle spirit can often, as was my experience with Fr. Poopy Attitude snap them out of it, or at least keep us standing.
Sorry about the novel. Carry on.
Fr. Poopy Attitude, that is funny stuff. Thanks for sharing your experience. Last week, the day at the pharmacy, I tried to ask her something with a gentle amount of assertiveness, (not sure that makes sense) and she was still so rude. There is part of me that wants to go back and talk to her on a different day, just to see if maybe last week was a bad day or if she is just like that period. In another comment, Valerie Suzanne reminded me of a quote I learned somewhere along the line..."you can't expect non-Christians to share the same standards as Christians." I think I need to grow some in this. I need to toughen up a bit and actually stand up for myself, but not in a self-righteous or pompous way. Like you said, we were not given a spirit of timidity. Thanks for the book suggestions as well. I need to go to Barnes and Noble and enjoy a small, but deserved, shopping spree.
I figure if I didn't comment on books I'd get made fun of. I figured if I DID comment, I get made fun of. So here goes:
1. Anything by Erwin McManus-I recommend The Barbarian Way or Seizing Your Divine Moment
2. The Genesee Diary by Henri Nouwen
3. Tuesday's With Morrie by Mitch Albom
4. Anything by Philip Yancey--I love Rumors and Soul Survivor.
That's all for now. Let the mocking begin!
Now Gil, let's keep in mind my reading level. Erwin McManus? Maybe I am dreaming but isn't he a super tough to read guy? I mean, not bad writing, but a lot to dig through? Let us not forget that I am no genius. Are these books I will understand?
Ok, I'm going to give you some basic tips on confrontation techniques... wait... what the heck am I talking about? I know about as much about NOT being a door mat as I do about aeronautical engineering! I don't even think I know how to spell it!
Moving on to something I like to talk about: BOOKS! I have Tuesdays with Morrie if you wanna borrow it. It's great! Also, The Barbarian Way has made my summer reading list. Matt is doing it with his HS SS class... so I'm guessing you and I should be able to handle it just fine! I would also like to recommend:
Safely Home by Randy Alcorn (it's a fictional book based on actual events/people/churches underground in China) BTW- this is my ALL TIME favorite book. A great read, but make sure you have a box of tissues handy, becuase you'll need them for the last 1/4 of the book.
I know it's a bit old, but If You Want to Walk On Water by John Ortberg also holds a special place in my library.
The Sacred Romance by Eldrigde and Curtis (the accompanying workbook/journal was also pretty cool)
Ok, that's all I can think of...
And as far as your "Numerous Country Adventure cd"... it's in the works!
I can't believe you leave so soon for Nairobi! Wow!
As for the confrontation thing, I suck at that too, so whenever you get some good advice pass it on to me!
Onto books...I read Blue Like Jazz and fell in love w/ Miller's writing style as well. I then read "Searching for God Knows What" and loved that even more, and then found his old, soon-to-be-republished "Prayer & the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance" which is really hard to find. That one ended up being my favorite, actually, because it's a different style than the other two. It's more like his diary while road-tripping across the country.
Also, I'm currently reading Anne Lamott's "Traveling Mercies" and I plan on reading her next book "Plan B" as soon as I'm finished.
I'm also reading "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge. It's like the female version of "Wild at Heart" and it's amazing.
There are several on my list but I just can't seem to finish the ones I'm reading now first!
You give yourself too little credit! You could handle McManus--especially barbarian way. Sorry if my suggestions were lame! I still say Miller is a great call--I'm waiting for a reprint of his first one which will be out at the end of the summer I believe. The Ortbert suggestion was an awesome one too.
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